


that was yesterday

by glitched_innie



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Spoilers, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, idk if it's really a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-30
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-31 00:09:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15107657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitched_innie/pseuds/glitched_innie
Summary: INFINITY WAR SPOILERSTony Stark wasn't the man who shed tears at all.





	that was yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> it's my first time writing marvel so i'm taking this for a test drive  
> if you don't like it don't go easy on me, tell me how to fix it  
> based on "that was yesterday" by foreigner

Tony Stark wasn’t the man who shed tears for a fifteen year old boy. He wasn’t the man who shed tears at all. So to feel Peter’s death with all of his heart was definitely foreign to him.

 

_I thought I knew you well_

_But all this time I could never tell_

 

Moments after the boy had crumbled in his arms Tony realized the consequences of his death. He had never done anything substantial for the kid. Nothing a father would do for his kids and dammit he considered himself a guide and a mentor. He should’ve done better. He could’ve done better but he didn’t and that wasn’t right. He had never taken Peter to get ice-cream or helped him with his math homework. Although Peter never really needed help with anything. Losing everything early on in his life had made Peter resilient to stress and left him with quite a few unhealthy coping mechanisms like sucking up his feelings for the sake of others. The thought sent another pang of guilt that hit Tony like a tidal wave. He never found the time to get to know the kid like his own.

 

_I let you get away_

_Haunts me every night and every day_

 

If Peter hadn’t gotten on that damn spaceship and flown halfway across the entire universe to help Tony with a battle that wasn’t even his to fight, he might have survived. If Tony knew that there was even the slightest chance that he could’ve saved Peter he would’ve cemented the kid into the ground and left him on Earth. It was all Tony’s fault for dragging a teenager into a life he was not prepared for. It haunted every walking minute of his life and every glimpse of sleep was plagued by the image of Peter’s frail frame crumbling in his hands. Every word the kid had said was like a dagger to the chest and wound refused to heal no matter how much he doused it in alcohol. Friday had frantically informed him that Peter’s vitals were critical and Tony had muted her because he could see that for himself. In Tony’s mind this whole mess was his own fault and no money or fame, regardless of size, could redeem him in the arc of his own story.

 

_You were the only one_

_The only friend I counted on._

 

One particularly bad night Tony sat down in his lab and ordered Friday to show him Peter. The AI started reciting every piece of information it had on the boy and every single word reminded Tony of a sweet memory that only now turned sour. He paused on an article from the newspaper that had Spider-Man stopping a metal claw that was aimed directly at Tony’s face. It was just a day before the snap that sent the universe into chaos. Tony knew that the kid had skipped school to help and had prevented a very unattractive bruise on Tony’s face and he had potentially saved his life when not one of his friends had tried. Peter was too pure for Tony and even though his friends had never wished him misfortune Peter was the only one to openly show that. Not Rhodey, not Pepper would ever share in such a manner but Peter was so uncorrupted by the world that it was a whole miracle. The kid was an open book in a world of lies and secrets hidden under layers of sweet promises.

 

_How could I watch you walk away_

_I'd give anything to have you here today_

 

Pepper often tried to remind him that Peter going off, regardless of orders to stay put, in a spaceship no less wasn’t in any way Tony’s fault. But when he returned to Earth, May Parker had screamed his ear off about his part in all of this and then collapsed to weep in his arms. She had lost all she had in world and it was Anthony Edward Stark’s fault. She called him a murderer along with an array of colorful language and threatened to rip his head off his shoulder if he ever so much as tried to contact anyone even slightly associated with her again. With tears pooling in his eyes Tony had pulled her into a hug that soon turned mutual and said his goodbyes. He’d give anything to have Peter back and deliver him home alive and well, all doe eyed and red cheeked. Even if that was the last time he could see the boy, it would be enough knowing he was safe with his family and friends.

 

_But now I stand alone with my pride_

_And dream that you're still by my side_

 

From the moment he was back, the remnants of society wanted to know what had happened on Titan. Tony had broken down in tears and told them all to fuck off. It wasn’t an appropriate reaction according to the media and they spent the next several months painting him as monster, guilty of everything bad in the world. Problem is that he believed all of it. It was his fault that a kid across the ocean had died of cancer because he was sitting on his ass instead of figuring out a cure. It was all his fault.

His next encounter with the nosy reporters had been at a press conference about his contribution in rebuilding the world. Pepper had been so proud of how he handled things and behaved like an actual adult for once, yet still keeping true to his sarcastic persona. Still all this would’ve been easier if he had Peter by his side. Peter, who could turn every solemn mood into a cheerful one and would’ve been by his side when he broke down crying once again in the bathroom immediately after the press conference. All Tony had left to show the world was an empty shell of scripted jokes and a dark void just millimeters away from consuming him whole.

 

_But that was yesterday_

_I had the world in my hands_

 

The fight had been almost two years ago. Two years without the kid. Two agonizingly long years Tony spent cocooned up in himself. Yet Tony remembered it clearly as if it had been only yesterday. Not even the alcohol could get him to sleep anymore and his fight against his own psyche seemed more pointless than ever. He overworked himself to the point exhaustion and blacked out in the soundproof lab. So much as a fly buzzing around could disturb his miserable attempt at getting some shuteye. He was isolating himself in every way imaginable and soon people started to notice. Rhodey had been the first to leave under the pretext that ‘he couldn’t watch Tony destroy himself from the inside out’. Pepper had taken over Tony’s role in Stark Industries long ago but she had more work in the past two years than in the last ten combined. Many friends and associates had criticized him for not letting his boy rest in peace and one by one Tony threw them out of his life. He would not, in any circumstances, leave his kid in the yesterday of his life. Tony had lost everything already, he wasn’t going to throw away the best year of his life from his memories.

 

_But it's not the end of my world_

_Just a slight change of plans_

 

The third year passed and Tony seemed to be getting a little better. He didn’t have designer bags under his eyes anymore at least. He saw a speck of light at the end of the dark tunnel his had become. The man was looking forward to the future. He wasn’t sure if he was actually getting better or just clinging to a hopeless dream. Regardless he spent more time reforming his ties with geniuses and seemed to be spending more time in the lab, either with said geniuses or alone. A smile that had been long forgotten replaced the deep frown lines on Tony’s face as he worked away on the Iron Man suit.

 

_That was yesterday_

_But today life goes on_

 

To say that he had been surprised to hear his phone ring was an understatement. Not many people had sought out his attention in a long time. His eyes had nearly popped out of their sockets when he saw that May Parker of all people was calling Tony Stark. He had reluctantly answered the phone, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest. May wanted to apologize about everything she had said a few years ago. In those tough years Tony learned not to cling to the past as if it was a lifeline. He accepted what needed to be accepted and tried to make a better future. He had forgiven her a long time ago. May invited him to dinner. They talked, he even made her laugh and at the end of the night Tony had gone home more determined to make the world a better place than ever. Both for himself and maybe for the rest of the universe too.

 

_No more hiding in yesterday_

_'Cause yesterday's gone!_

 

In his mind “making the world a better place” definitely had a selfish underlining. And the four years he had spent on Earth were suffocating to say the least. H wanted to get out. So armed with a brand new vibranium suit and with the help of every surviving Avenger, he took on a whole new mission.

Find Thanos and reverse the damage even if it meant dying in the process. Tony knew it would be an honorable way to die. To die among his friends, sacrificing himself for his family.

Because Tony knew Peter deserved to live to live way more than him, by a long shot.


End file.
